Half-assery, I was guilty of that. Not just I, but everyone is guilty to some degree. Half-assery is an ever so common mentality, a word used to describe halfway doing anything. Laziness and guilt mix with various other traits, making it way harder than easy to cure, deadly. and most importantly unique.
The world is chock full of ideas and although the idea may seem a fun idea to go without filters, filters are a necessary part of a person’s life. They work as they in part work the body’s security system presenting the person with an arsenal of metaphorical defensive weapons in the form of words. Like your having an argument, it allows you to stay on subject instead of barking off into the woods.
From the get-go, starting out mentally as a child say five but physical a twenty-five everything, minus that occurred. Picture a big little kid, growing and turning into a bigger man but mentally choosing to stay with the kid tendencies. (I say that I chose to stay a little kid not because I remember making the choice but because that’s what happened) An injury of my sort, a severe traumatic brain injury, works as a magnifying glass. Taking traits that existed prior to the injury, both good and bad, and blowing or shrinking them to sometimes unreasonable levels. And since I chose not to mind most of my filters after it was placed under the magnifying glass all my filters went to not.
Mixing what little I remember with what I know to be true of my demeanor before my accident. Tells me that before that accident experiences that took place created natural filters in my mind. By choice, I had placed filters selectively blocking some good while letting some bad in. Which presented a “fun” opportunity for people and offered me as a target since the accident.
The strangest filter to lose overall is the one controlling my emotions. To be made to undergo even half of what happened to me is quite unsettling. Don’t get me wrong I am not necessarily complaining, for that would do no good. Who wants to hear my problems, then turn around and add them to the load they have to carry. No one.
Everyone is on their own path. The heart of the situation that has no other path (or ways) lies in Jesus. He is the only way to the Father although people will say otherwise. Now I know that at the mention of His name, Jesus, I may be on the verge of losing many people, but that is what the enemy wants, for you to close up and keep doing whatever it is that you do. I am not going to point my finger and said this or that is wrong. Because, early on in my situation, people seeing farther down the line than I. Said and did things simply to see my response from their action. Me being temporarily hobbled with my disability left them room to “pig” ’round in my life. It ALL it what it is, even the things that were not planned. Although many things seem to be in my way. If I keep my eye on Him. Therein lies the key, being left all up to choice with “If” playing the key, and my own mind turns out to be my best friend and my worst enemy. ________________________
- When you argue with reality you are going to lose.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away. ~Phillip K. Dick
The human understanding is like a false mirror, which, receiving rays irregularly, distorts and discolors the nature of things by mingling its own nature with it. ~Francis Bacon