I asked God to please only let me remember that which need be, and remember not that which is not, which is what I prayed to the Almighty Father. People have been good and/or bad to me, choosing what they chose.
Back when I was attending the Cluck-house (Clubhouse), it wasn’t for my own enjoyment, but it was what it was. The chance arose to meet people for the first time and when the two choices, staying indoors “playing house” or roving the mall, were presented. I chose the latter. Plus, at that time, the added benefit roving the mall presented. Yet another chance to keep on moving my legs. For I was in a wheelchair at that time, and the main benefit, a kind of trick God had placed in my head. Was to walk behind my wheelchair, pushing it and thereby giving my gimpy legs a workout.
Now the main general idea of that establishment is to “help” people with a disability find a job, but the main administrator and I we didn’t see eye to eye. Being an atheist, and I a child of God. As everyone is whether they believe or not. They are. I guess educated-ly that, that was the reason. Although this story may come out different when cooked up by another “chef”, it is what it is.
Really there was nothing wrong with the Clubhouse, it just was not for me. I amused myself though when I wasn’t inside by walking up to strangers, preferably foreigners, and asking them how “peace” sounded in their natural tongue. This gave me more enjoyment than “playing house” ever could. The mistake I was making was that I was being assessed for my work capabilities. And would not pass in their eyes. So two years down the hole, wasted. Till I became madder than not and in a tiff walked out, vowing to never grace that place with my presence again. Excessive is as excessive does and believe you me I was before and I am now. Wilder than tame.
I wouldn’t say it was all for not, I did meet some interesting people. And although I do not remember exactly who they were, I learned something from them. I can honestly say, “I learned things even when I shall never remember what I do.” So on that note, although I did not do everything that was told me, God used it to grace me with knowledge. How to say peace in various languages.
My mindset before the incident was some degree worse than good. Not bad per se, but not good either. For you see everybody has sinned and come short of the glory of God. The only way, the only being that has enough peace to give is the Prince of peace. I was saved by none other than God through His son Jesus Christ. Which I do not have evidence of, besides standing here on my own 2 feet. Sometimes I wish I had evidence of but if I did have evidence I do believe no-one would believe me. Seeing Hollywood’s special effects and movies have numbed our senses, leaving us able to see more graphic material than one should.
But the knowledge of all these choices, people living their lives as they saw fit, did not come into my mind’s eye till it did. The subtraction of God from the whole ordeal remains minus from my whole mind frame. Since God originally made this country great, what gives them the thought processes that deem it okay to run off of third base, going in a “new direction”. A direction that is seemingly new but has been tried way more times than not. Every time flying a banner with “new” colors. Usually yellow, and whatever keywords are in vogue at that time, e.g. “Forward”. In the meantime, they’ve long since excommunicated the Prince of Peace, they’re trying to make it to God their own way. When in fact it is written, posted on so many websites that the only Key to heaven lies in Jesus.
I urge you to do your own homework though reading up on the end, your end. It was what it was, as it is what it is. Peace has been a mentality, or a state of being, of mine since my “meeting” with the tree. You could say it was beaten into me and you wouldn’t be lying. Now don’t get me wrong I would be lying if I tried to stand here and say. With eyes way bigger than not, bottom lip quivering, the while spouting some nonsense like I am so “good”. That nonsense about humans being so “good” is a crock.
In my line of thinking, there are three beings who deserve the label “good”. And that would be the Holy Ghost, Jesus, and God Himself. Peace is as peace does. From what I remember the word peace came out of my mouth before my “tree-meeting”, or “treeting” for short. All the while, more often than not, my mindset and my actions spoke otherwise.
I remember at one-time friends used to be everywhere, coming out of the woodwork. And all around there was nothing but “friendly” faces doing friendly things. That all depends on what your “definition” of what friendly is. Mine at that time being what felt good to the body, thinking only for myself. There’s nothing wrong with looking out for yourself at times, but trouble arises when those times become continuous.
At one time thinking myself to be wise and smart I was known for a host of things. Then the incident with a tree happened. My accident. God stripped me of random vanities, things that were not of Him, making myself more useful to Him. What most people would say was “bad” He made “better than”. Not only that but He healed the relationship between my mother and I by showing me that there is almost no other reason, besides loving Him, that I was made.
Life is a good deal slower since my “meeting” but in a quick way. Almost too quick. If people would slow down, stop letting the news dictate what to do, truly taking notice of the blessings that come with being an American. It would go better with everyone. If my accident has taught me anything it is to not worry about the past for nothing good can come from worrying. Instead what we should do is learn from the past, both what to do and what not, place one foot in front of the other, and move forward.
The thing I want to say, the thing that I don’t know whether it’s stressed enough, is to never give up. When, waking up in the “special place” known as the hospital and finding myself surrounded by “helping professionals”. I didn’t necessarily want to give up because I had nowhere to go, it was what it was. As it all is what is. There are numerous times throughout history, times where people have done above their human capabilities, and all times God had something to do with that situation. While in HealthSouth rehabilitation center, receiving my first steps to stepping, I became annoyed with them and this situation I was in. Part of it was my fault, seeing that I was the one who had been driving. But the other part was the people that were hurt for me, and the system’s fault. Not all the people that were hurt are at fault, but those who play the system. They are the ones at fault and the system has to take some of that fault, allowing themselves to be played of the played, it takes two. Over the multiple years that followed August 31, the day I was released back into public, and noticing the constant, growing fear of the helping profession. Fear of being sued, I began taking mental notes of places I could put my steps-to-stepping to work in public, in daily life. The game of “pretend” being an ever so popular game in my younger years, I would play that I was walking on the edge of a cliff. When in reality I was just walking on a sidewalk, walking on the edge I called it. The game came to be known as “walking on the edge”.
First and Last Home
My favorite place, seeing that God deserves and gets all the credit. To my surviving and recuperation from an accident that should’ve taken my life, is church. Now don’t get me wrong, I feel led to remind everyone that this is a fallen world. If there is such a thing as a good there must be evil, God foreknew this when He built the world. This is why he sent His Son to die on the cross thereby creating a way to bypass all the end of the world horrors, whenever that may take place. I just figured this out since the accident. But I digressed. I do believe I was talking about a game : “Walking on the Edge”.
Early on in my injury I became semi-obsessed with the word “peace”. The word escaping my lips not all the time but way more often than not. At that time I was attending the High Street Clubhouse that met on the downtown mall. Because of differences in opinion I chose to spend my time milling around the downtown mall, striking up conversations wherever I would go. That obsession drove me to in more words than short learn peace in whatever language and nationality that presented itself to me.
I learned to say peace in Hungarian from a lady from that country. She works at the mineral farmers market. It’s “Beke” (pronounced: Beka). Not the first way I learned peace, that was “Kapayapaan”. My uncle who is a missionary in the Philippines had married a local, RonaFe making her my aunt so she taught me that.
On the Jaunt bus a French couple taught me “la Pei”. Then, at the time, I was attending the Cluckhouse (the clubhouse) on the downtown mall. Where instead of “playing house” like a good little boy, I walked around the mall pushing my wheelchair and talking with whoever I talked with. Doing this I ran into and became good friends with a Tibetan gentleman who taught me, “Shi De”. Then you of course, my “Smiling-Eyes”, taught me “Haiwaa”, which is peace in Japanese.
Of course the church I attend played a big part in teaching me peace and Burmese which is, “Te sou”, “Asumdri” which is peace in Ghanan, and peace in Chinese which is “Heping”. Another, of the many languages broken in Africa, is “Amani”. Also, I don’t know where I learned this, I learned peace in Italian which is “Pache”.
Then, of course, the lady who works in the lunch room of HealthSouth from over in Russia taught me “Mirr”. For the life of me I do not know exactly where I learned this but in Sweden it’s “Fred”. In Indonesia it’s “Damai”, in Nepal it’s “Sante” (Which is strangely familiar to Shanti, peace in India) In Vietnamese it’s “Hoah binh”, I learned that one Sunday from our waitress, a Vietnamese lady. Then a gentleman I don’t know where this took place but he was Armenian and he taught me “Hagutun”. Then in a Turkish restaurant the owner taught me Burrish. Another day a lady from Germany taught me “Freeden”.